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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26558527">Reasons</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CitadelSpires/pseuds/CitadelSpires'>CitadelSpires</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Little Witch Academia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Again, F/F, I'm Sorry, Lotte and Sucy are equally surprised by how much Lotte loves her, Lotte is very smol anxious and gay, Lotte isn't dumb she's just extremely oblivious, Not Beta Read, Sucy and Lotte are the only characters wow what a surprise, Sulotte, but here we are, i wrote this at 3 am, it was not supposed to be this long, no I will never get good at tags you can't make me, yes I'm still writing these</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:15:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,313</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26558527</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CitadelSpires/pseuds/CitadelSpires</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Did you really only come to Luna Nova just to add that poison to your collection?”</p><p>aka Lotte spends several days worrying about Sucy leaving Luna Nova behind, meanwhile Sucy notices something is clearly bothering the only person on the planet whose health she cares about as much as her own, and doesn't plan on just sitting by and doing nothing about it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sucy Manbavaran/Lotte Yanson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Reasons</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Did you really only come to Luna Nova just to add that poison to your collection?”</p><p>She’d been worried about the answer even then, hesitant, hopeful, knowing exactly what she wanted to hear, if not why she wanted to hear it.</p><p>“My original plan was to leave after I retrieved the poison”</p><p>Her face had fallen, a frown setting in, disappointment evident in every bit of her body language.</p><p>“However, I heard this school has samples of extinct poisonous mushrooms, so I’ll be staying longer.”</p><p>Longer, not permanently. But longer. It wasn’t the answer she’d been looking for but it was one she could accept. Her spirits had lifted, not even brought down by watching Sucy’s strange experiment with a spider that most certainly ended up less alive than it had been a moment ago. Lotte still remembered how the satisfied laugh Sucy had let out at the slightly gruesome sight had made her feel strangely happy, though it terrified her at the same time.</p><p>She’d been happy to settle for longer. Eventually she’d have to say goodbye but that’s just how life worked and surely that would be fine right? Why did she even care this much? It was only yesterday that Sucy had tried to kill her. Though whatever poison she got from the feather had apparently been extremely rare, which meant it was really special, far more special than Lotte, so it probably wasn’t a very unreasonable trade. She couldn’t shake the thought that if Sucy asked her to do it again she wouldn’t say no, though she knew that probably wasn’t a good thing. The simple fact of the matter was just that Lotte wanted to be a good friend to the two girls she had ended up roomed with. They were her first chance to make friends at Luna Nova, and admittedly the only two friends she had. And it was important to note, at least to her, that even though Sucy had tried to kill her she’d also gone back for her and saved her life. Lotte chose to focus on that instead. Maybe that’s why she already felt safe around the other girl, despite how clearly dangerous she was. Or maybe it was because Sucy was so dangerous that she did. For everything that had happened the day before Lotte believed Sucy didn’t mean her any harm, and that was enough for her to want Sucy around.</p><p>——————————</p><p>By the time several weeks had passed she had plenty more reasons to want Sucy around. The more she was let in and shown what the other girl was really like the more she found she loved. The truth of Sucy was that she was smart and resourceful and caring, when she wanted to be. Their other classmates, even Akko, especially Akko, would often talk about how impressive and intelligent Diana was, and on rare occasions someone had even commented on Lotte’s own studious nature and knack for learning, but Lotte preferred the subtle cunning and intellect of her more reserved roommate. The depth of knowledge and expertise Sucy showed at the subjects that interested her never ceased to impress Lotte. In a battle of intelligence she would place her bets on Sucy any day. Not to mention that her constant calm and collected state regardless of whatever happened to them was just incredibly cool, Lotte had to admit, a slight blush rising to her cheeks at the thought. But even better than how cool Sucy was was the fact that under the mask of casualty and disinterest was a real girl with passions, likes, dislikes, and everything else Lotte had enjoyed getting to know over time. Sure the things in the passions and likes columns were often rather creepy and unsettling, but that didn’t make them any less interesting, or the gleam in Sucy’s eye as she discussed them any less enthralling. Everything about Sucy and all she had to say was fascinating to Lotte, and she often found the moments where the two of them were alone to be her favorites of each day.</p><p>At some point she had even begun to accompany Sucy on her journeys to collect poisons and ingredients, though Sucy never again tried to use her as bait. If Lotte was being honest with herself, though, she had more than enough trust in Sucy to know if she did Lotte would make it out perfectly fine. No, instead they just wandered around forests and wilderness full of flora and fauna Lotte had never even heard of. Sucy’s knowledge never wavered though, and Lotte had found her own admiration for the girl only growing. These little adventures were nothing like the ridiculous messes Akko often dragged them into. Instead these were largely peaceful and intimate affairs. Simple journeys where she was just happy to have her friend’s company, and while Sucy never said so outright she was certain the feeling had to be mutual. Sucy never invited anyone else on any of these trips, after all, so maybe she could dare to hope it wasn’t just the company of a friend Sucy was after, but the company of Lotte specifically. Then again, she was sure that had to just be wishful thinking. Sucy probably just invited her along cause she was the only one who ever showed any interest.</p><p>It was on one of these trips, wandering through the school, something that Lotte wasn’t entirely sure they were allowed to be doing but was too distracted by the thrill of sneaking around campus alone with Sucy to really put up any resistance, that Sucy had finally gotten her hands on what surely must be the mushrooms she had decided to stay for in the first place. That was the first of these trips Lotte had come back from less happy than she’d left. That one conversation from so long ago ringing through her mind, increasing in volume and frequency with every second. “I’ll be staying longer.”</p><p>longer</p><p>not forever</p><p>It had been longer. They were done with longer. What now? With every day that passed since that one trip through the school worry had been growing in Lotte’s heart. She’d spent the better part of the past few hours trying to distract herself with her studies in one of her favorite spots for reading on campus, but instead had only found herself thinking of everything she would miss Sucy for. She had some fragile hope that maybe Sucy’s mind would have been changed since that first day but what could have possibly changed it? Surely she’d gotten all the ingredients and specimens unique to the local area by now? What else could Luna Nova have that Sucy would want more than the mushrooms and poisons she surely must be able to gain from new and different places, none of which Lotte would be at? What reason could the school give her to stay? What reason could Lotte?</p><p>She didn’t know.</p><p>Would Sucy even say goodbye? Surely she wouldn’t just pack up and leave without any notice would she? She couldn’t, not when she knew what that would do to Lotte.</p><p>Oh who was she kidding… Even she didn’t know what that would do to her. Nothing about this was simple or easy to understand, save for the simple truth that the idea of losing Sucy felt more painful than she could articulate. Which said a lot, considering words were her specialty as much as mushrooms were Sucy’s. The knowledge that Sucy, a constant presence in her life, maybe wouldn’t be so constant after all, had moved from a distant inevitability she’d thought she could accept to a clearly possible, immediate future, terrified her. And not in a good way. The way she felt when she got to see the crooked grin on Sucy’s face or the dangerous gleam in her eye and suddenly it felt like she was sitting on the edge of a cliff, her legs dangling off the side, the soaring height serving only to make the view even more beautiful. To lose that and go back to the way things were before, she didn’t think she’d ever find anything to fill the specific void Sucy would surely leave behind. Or maybe Sucy was the void and she was going to miss it. She could never quite be sure.</p><p>What she did know was that her concerns over this were becoming a problem. The reason she was out here studying in the first place was due to her fears and worries causing her to lose focus in lectures. It certainly hadn’t been helping either that she’d not been sleeping well, visions of Sucy telling her that neither her nor Luna Nova could ever be enough to make her want to stay plaguing her nightmares. Nightmares which she resigned herself to dealing with once again tonight, along with another day of zero productivity, as she saw the sky begin to darken with absolutely zero information from her textbook retained. She couldn’t even remember what class she had been meaning to study for.</p><p>As she walked back to the room she shared with her closest friends she admitted to herself that she knew she should talk to Sucy about this, but what if she got the exact answer she was afraid of? If the scene from her nightmares were to play itself out in real life? If her question alone was enough to remind Sucy to leave then and there? In part she knew these fears were foolish, that Sucy cared about her enough to at least let her down easy right? But still, the thought alone was enough to stop her from ever bringing it up. Maybe tomorrow she’d have the courage. She tried to ignore the fear that built up in her as she finally reached the door to their room and turning the handle, worrying that maybe this time would be the time she’d open the door to find no sign of Sucy ever having been there, nothing left for Lotte to even prove to herself that any of it had been real. She failed both to push down that fear and to repress the sigh of relief that fell from her lips at the sigh of Sucy, sitting on her bed as she spun a small vial around, the room set up exactly as it always had been. She sat down at her desk, hoping if she ignored the odd, and perhaps slightly concerned, look Sucy gave her at her tired entrance, the whole problem might just go away.</p><p>She really needed to stop hoping for things.</p><p>“You look horrible.”</p><p>The words came out of nowhere. Lotte wasn’t even quite sure she’d actually heard them. But when she looked up she saw Sucy was staring right at her with a look on her face that was remarkably similar to the look she gave her concoctions that weren’t doing the things they should be, and she just couldn’t figure out what was wrong. So this was a conversation that was definitely happening then.</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>She wasn’t really sure what else there was to say. She was supposed to be the happy, steadfast girl that was there for her friends. Ready to forage through any forest or go on any adventure, just say the word and she would always be there with a smile on her face. Whatever she was now, it certainly wasn’t that. The depressing reality of that washed over her in that moment. What was probably Sucy’s last days at Luna Nova and she’d get to remember Lotte like this? She felt pathetic.</p><p>“Well that’s pretty stupid.” Sucy’s words jolted Lotte back to focus, her mouth falling open slightly as her brain took several seconds to process the harsh words that had just been used. “Why apologize? People look horrible all the time. I look horrible every day.”</p><p>Lott couldn’t tell how much of that last sentence was supposed to be taken seriously, though she couldn’t help herself but to think that on more than one occasion she had thought to herself plenty of words to describe how Sucy looked and ‘horrible’ was never among them.</p><p>“You don’t though.” Sucy continued, “At least not until recently. So. What happened?”</p><p>It was asked in the form of a question but the tone of voice Sucy used made it fairly clear she wasn’t really asking. Lotte was surprised for a moment that Sucy had noticed at all, before she looked back on everything she had been admiring about Sucy just that day and admitted that she knew very well how observant Sucy was, and plenty of her hidden but very present capacity to care about people. No it wasn’t Sucy she had underestimated, her only miscalculation here was how worthy of observation she thought she was, or rather, wasn’t.</p><p>Lotte looked anywhere but at Sucy as she struggled to come up with any other answer than the truth. She knew it was a pointless effort even while she tried it. She was caught, and she knew it. She’d known the conclusion to all this was something she’d have to face eventually she’d just hoped to put it off longer. It occurred to her in that moment that she seemed to hope a lot of things could be put off longer. It was time for that to stop. She muttered her answer quietly to herself at first but, seeing clearly in Sucy’s reaction that she hadn’t heard her, she forced herself to say the words again, ending up shouting them with a force and volume she hadn’t meant to use.</p><p>“I don’t want you to leave!”</p><p>She met Sucy’s gaze now, her fear of the other girl's answer prompting her to seek resolution in her eyes as fast as possible. Instead she saw an expression that was a very rare occurrence for Sucy. Surprise, followed by pure, genuine confusion.</p><p>“Leave?” Sucy repeated the word as if not sure she had heard Lotte correctly.</p><p>Lotte only nodded, her voice quiet now, she looked back down at the floor as she answered, “I don’t want you to leave Luna Nova.”</p><p>Sucy tilted her head, clearly still not sure what Lotte was getting at. “Who said I was going to?” The tone in her voice seemed to suggest she might have been annoyed at the apparent rumors going around if not for her preoccupied concern over Lotte.</p><p>Now it was Lotte’s turn to share in the confusion. Though ‘shock’ may be a more apt word for her reaction.</p><p>“You did!” She jumped up from her chair as she began to talk, all the worries and stress that had been building up over the past couple days falling out now in a cascading waterfall of emotions and words.</p><p>“When we got here I asked if you were going to stay and you told me that the school had special extinct mushrooms you wanted so you would stay longer but that’s still not actually staying and back then I thought that would be fine, I thought it would take longer to get them, I thought by that time and I wanted to be your friend but I was sure I’d be ready to let you go by then but now we’ve gotten you the mushrooms you wanted already and now I know how wrong I was because the idea of letting you go never got easier over time it’s only gotten much worse.”</p><p>She took a deep breath, surprised at herself for having spilled out so much of her heart in such a messy speech. There were even a few tears that had escaped as she reached so close to falling apart. She was on the verge of apologizing for her outburst, but something in her shifted, a realization that despite her wavering tone and uncertain rambling everything she’d said was true, and it was something she should’ve said days, or even weeks, ago. So she pushed down her apology and steeled her resolve, finally looking up at Sucy, who was staring at her now with an expression Lotte couldn’t spare the time or effort to read. She mustered up all the determination she had left, needing every last bit of it to say, with confidence in her voice, “I’m never going to be ready to let you go Sucy, so please don’t make me.”</p><p>“I’m not leaving.”</p><p>The response was immediate and, despite the hints of surprise still present in Sucy’s expression, it was spoken casually, as if it didn’t just completely turn Lotte’s entire world upside down. Her days of worry, her sudden outburst, her final plea, all of it rendered pointless by three simple words. Lotte felt like an idiot as she stood in the middle of the room searching her entire vocabulary for a response, only to fall into a sitting position on the bed next to Sucy and mutter weakly,</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I’m not going anywhere,” Sucy was looking sideways at her now, another expression Lotte had never really seen from her before on her face. “I decided a while ago actually. There’s a new reason I found to stay at Luna Nova that I can’t get anywhere else. So as long as it still has that I’ll be staying here.” Her voice got a bit softer as she continued. “I didn’t tell you I changed my mind because I never thought you would worry about it. I didn’t think you even remembered that conversation.”</p><p>The revelation that not only was Sucy staying, but she had long since already decided to cause Lotte to feel even more embarrassed for all her worry, but also helped for reality to settle in that Sucy was staying. She was here, and she would still be tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that. In that moment she felt as if she could happily sit there in peaceful content with Sucy forever. Save for one problem. Lotte frowned as she considered the wording of Sucy’s admission. It still wasn’t a commitment to stay, it was temporary. Oh well, she knew she couldn’t force Sucy to stay forever if she didn’t want to, but this time she would make sure she knew exactly how long. She wasn’t about to fall back into the same mistakes.</p><p>“How long will your new reason still be at Luna Nova?”</p><p>“I don’t think she’s graduating for another few years yet so it’ll take a while.”</p><p>“She?”</p><p>Time froze for a moment as Sucy spoke and Lotte’s question fell from her lips in the form of three short letters. The words didn’t make any sense coming from Sucy’s mouth, nor did they turn into something Lotte could understand as she spun them around her mind, grasping at any plausible explanations and coming up short. She’d been thinking of all the ways Sucy was secretly a caring and good friend but for her to root herself to Luna Nova just for one girl? Whoever it was must be someone amazing. Lotte couldn’t help but find herself feeling a little jealous as she thought about how much Sucy must love her, whoever she was. Someone like that, someone who could make the distant, reserved Sucy so happy as to want to stay by her side, had to be absolutely wonderful, someone really special. She was happy Sucy had found somebody like that, of course she was, but still, she was sad that person couldn’t be her.</p><p>Lotte realized, in the moment that thought occurred to her, that perhaps she didn’t want to be Sucy’s friend after all. In hindsight all the worry and the stress that the thought of losing Sucy had caused her made much more sense, when presented with the reality that, apparently there was someone who meant more to Sucy than the vast open world and all the poisons to be found in it, and she wanted more than anything else to have become that person while she had the chance. That was the unfortunate thing about love, apparently. That you didn’t realize entirely what feelings you had until it was far too late. Lotte couldn’t seem to decide if she wanted to cry or if being so close to Sucy and realizing how pretty she was, as if seeing her for the first time, made her want to smile like it was her last.</p><p>Sucy gave a slight nod at Lotte’s question and she felt the world jump back into real time, everyone and everything moving on, indifferent to the fact that her entire world was different now. She’d never been in love before. She’d read about it so many times. Imagined what it would feel like. The books had always described it as warm and bright. The books were wrong. It was cold, and it was dark, and it was beautiful. And it was lonely. Because Sucy was doing all this for someone else. She didn’t really want to hear it, didn’t want to know what all this girl who meant so much to Sucy had that she had failed in, but the question flew up from her heart and out her lips before her mind could pull it back.</p><p>“What’s she like?”</p><p>Sucy looked at her for a moment, as if uncertain how to respond, but then she looked away, and began to talk.</p><p>“She’s my best friend.” The words hurt Lotte even more than she’d thought they would, but she did her best to keep listening anyway. “She’s the only person I’ve ever cared about as much as I care about myself. She’s strong and she’s brave, even though I’m sure she doesn’t think so. She’s brighter than anything I’m used to, so bright I used to wonder why it didn’t hurt to look at her. She’s loyal, too loyal if you ask me. She’s a far better person than I’ll ever be, better than I’m interested in being. But she doesn’t care about that. She’s the only person who’s ever looked at me and actually seen me. Because she pays attention to her friends more than anyone else I’ve ever known. She’s kind and she’s resourceful, and she’s smart, and she’s also really, <em>really</em> blind sometimes.”</p><p>Lotte turned her head at that, confused by the sudden shift from all of the positive and loving words, especially by Sucy’s standards. That last one just seemed completely off topic, and honestly kind of harsh, though she wasn’t so surprised about that much. What she was surprised by was the fact that Sucy was staring right at her now. There was an uncharacteristically soft look in her eyes, paired with a rare smile on her lips. Had she been looking at Lotte like that the whole time? The way her smile turned to a grin that clearly indicated she had been caught in the act seemed to suggest the answer to the was yes. She kept the grin up as she continued, looking for all the world like a child who knew a secret and just couldn’t keep it in any longer. She continued, the soft tone in her voice still present.</p><p>“Fortunately for her she’s got glasses the color of my favorite poison” <em>Red</em>, the thought occurred to Lotte before the implications of it could even reach her brain. “always covering her eyes the color of my favorite mushroom.”</p><p>
  <em>Blue.</em>
</p><p>The color rose to Lotte’s thoughts in the same moment that the realization of what Sucy was saying fully sunk in. She fell backward on the bed, a deep blush rising to her face as she threw her hands up in protest, all three combined eliciting another grin from Sucy as she watched.</p><p>“What?! ME?!”</p><p>Sucy laughed, “Who else? Did you really think I was saying all that stuff about Akko?” She made a face at the very thought of it. “Only you get to hear me say things like that. But don’t ask me to do it again, I only did it for you this once, to help you figure it out. Honestly I thought you would be smart enough to get there earlier.”</p><p>As Lotte sat back up, still too flustered to look Sucy in the eye, she couldn’t tell if she was blushing more now at the fact that Sucy had been talking about her the whole time or at the embarrassment that <em>Sucy had been talking about her the whole time</em>. She would feel really stupid right now if she didn’t feel impossibly happy at the spark of hope that flared up in her. Maybe it was the fact she’d already made such a fool of herself so many times tonight. Maybe it was the thrill of her realization that was still running through her. Maybe it was the way everything Sucy had said about her flowed through her memory and into her heart. Whatever it was she felt bolder than ever.</p><p>“I won’t ask you to say it again then, but can I ask you to do one more thing?”</p><p>Sucy pretended to consider it for a second before responding indifferently, “Sure.”</p><p>Lotte took a deep breath, gathering all her hope and courage and resolve as she looked up at Sucy and kept her voice as confident as she could as she spoke the two words that would change everything, hopefully for the better.</p><p>“Kiss me?”</p><p>This time Sucy didn’t waste any time pretending there was something to consider or any response to come up with. The request had barely left the air in front of Lotte’s lips before Sucy’s immediately took their place. Lotte had just enough time to think to herself that this kiss was cold, nothing like the warm and grandiose descriptions of her stories, before she decided she liked this much better, and let everything but the feeling of Sucy’s lips against hers fade away into darkness.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading my second Sulotte fic, I hope you enjoyed it!</p><p>As I'm sure you can tell this was an idea I got while watching the second episode again. This was actually not the only fic I had the idea for writing from watching that episode, however, I was struggling to write that one in Lotte pov, as I'm a bit more comfortable with Sucy, so I wrote this in part just to figure out the Lotte pov a bit more. I'm a bit worried she's horribly out of character in this, so if she is that would be why. However, if you've been paying attention you've noticed that, yes, I do have more Sulotte fics planned, so keep your eye out for those if you'd like. Or not. I can't tell you what to do. Either way, I had actually hoped to get either the other one I was working on or this one done sooner than I did so I had actually meant to upload something a lot earlier than this. The good news to that I guess is that I have at least one more fic that's suitably lengthy and nearly finished so hopefully I get that out soon? This is all assuming anyone actually reads and enjoys these, of course. So if you did enjoy this, please leave kudos and/or comments letting me know! And if you haven't read my first sulotte fic it's a lot shorter and scrappier than this one but its on here if you'd like.  And if you've got suggestions or  anything like that those are welcome in comments too. I'm still very much new to this and still working out my writing style and how I want to handle these characters. Hopefully I get better as I write, and as I go through the show again looking for any and all ideas to base more Sulotte fics on. Sulotte is just really good y'all and if no one else is gonna write fics for days I'll take it upon myself to do so. </p><p>So hopefully you'll keep seeing me around with new stuff and hopefully I never end up writing another end notes this long because oh wow y'all I'vebeentalkingtoolong</p></blockquote></div></div>
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